If you suddenly receive a contact request from Palermo, Paris or Palma, don’t be surprised: PARSHIP now has a presence in Austria, Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, the Netherlands, Sweden, Switzerland, Spain and the UK. This means that PARSHIP offers even greater chances of success to members who are prepared to look a little way beyond their own front door. It’s simply a matter of choosing the right options when setting your search criteria, whether on a local, regional, national or international basis. But how do you establish contact successfully with someone who lives far away? And what hitches might you encounter?
Read between the lines
If neither party speaks the other‘s language, things can become awkward for a cross-border love affair – and not all star-crossed lovers have a foreign language in common that they can use as a lingua franca. Even a basic knowledge of each other’s language can improve the chances of success, but communication is more than just a matter of words. If someone from Spain asks for your phone number in their first email, this isn’t a matter of coming on a bit strong, but an indicator of a different culture in online dating: the Spanish like to get straight to the heart of the matter. Likewise, if, in the initial stages of contact, someone from southern Europe asks how much you earn, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he or she is some kind of gold-digger. It’s just that different cultures have a different concept of privacy and ‘no-go areas’. If something bothers you, pick up on it with the other person rather than going straight to the ‘delete‘ button or breaking off contact entirely.
Other countries, other ways
Other countries, other ways, goes the old saying. It applies to the content of your emails too. If you tell a Dutch person about the status symbols you own, then you can expect to be taken for a show-off – and a turn-off. If you make a point of telling an Italian about the difficulties you have with your family, you won’t be able to expect much sympathy. If you emphasise how hard you work, it’s not going to impress someone from Sweden, where there’s a culture of moderation in everything –in the workplace and in other aspects of life.
English abroad
It’s worth remembering that some profiles from abroad were actually created by people who are originally from the UK, so don’t exclude the option of other countries and cultures from the word go. On the other hand, if you’re already thinking about packing your belongings so you can make the move to sunnier climes, bear in mind that many expats eventually intend to return home, or are only abroad on a temporary basis for professional reasons. You should also consider whether ‘foreign glamour’ is influencing your thinking. How would you feel about helping someone to make a new start on their return home to somewhere that holds no exotic appeal for you?
Think carefully
Maybe someone you have met online has suggested that the two of you could settle down together in the Spanish countryside … but think about the situation carefully before things get too serious. Is it the person or the new country you are excited about? Can you really imagine putting down long-term roots abroad? What would you really be like at making a new start professionally, or growing old far away from your family and old friends? How are you at learning languages? Do you get to know people easily, or has a particular childhood friend always been your point of reference? And are you prepared for new neighbours whose concepts of time and personal space might be very different from yours?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Whatever comes out of your contact with someone from another country – whether it’s a long-distance relationship, just a nice correspondence, or a reason to leave the country or return home – it all depends on you and the other person. Anything is possible. In the first instance, looking for love across geographical borders offers further chances of finding someone. – Let’s face it, there isn’t much chance of finding your dream man or dream woman just around the corner. Anyone who is brave enough to look abroad – and it could be simply a matter of broadening your search criteria or checking who’s interested in you – can reasonably expect results. And it could just be that Paul or Penny from Verona is that nice person who used to live in your street 20 years ago or so and whom you haven’t seen since … and who is thinking about coming home.