> Dating advice > The first date > Dating should be fun

The first date

Dating should be fun

Some people seem to see dating as a kind of ‘work’. Some even get worried about it. Try and take it easy: a date is something you should look forward to – like taking a day off work!

Dating should be fun

Approach it in relaxed fashion

Many people approach dates with false expectations. Throughout the date they try like crazy to please the other person and, at the end of it, are surprised if the other person actually likes them. But why should you want to make someone like you? You want to find someone who is right for you - and, obvious though it sounds, you don’t have to start a relationship with everyone you date! Even if your date looks fantastic or is exceptionally charming, that doesn’t mean he or she is the person you’ve been waiting for all your life. Remember that the only person you have to please is yourself - so just be yourself and see if the other person is right for you.

Don’t get nervous

If you’re one of those people who get very nervous before a date, here’s a tip for you: imagine you’re going to spend the evening with a good friend rather than a potential partner. If you put yourself in the frame of mind that goes with being with a person you know and trust, then you will be more relaxed and more yourself. That is a very important factor, because even if you try and be something that you aren’t, you won’t stop your true self from shining through sooner or later. And what if your date had fallen for the ‘other you’ rather than the ‘real you’? They could end up feeling deceived, which wouldn’t be good for you either.

Take it step by step

It’s a big mistake to assume that the first person you meet will be ‘the one’. And just as in fairy stories, there are frogs to be kissed before you find your dream Prince or Princess - so take things step by step. Women in particular raise their expectations - and the pressure - unrealistically high, telling their date that they are ready for a serious relationship. Even if marriage, children and a lovely family home are what you want out of life, don’t overwhelm your date with these and just give the two of you a chance to get to know each other at a suitable pace. A date is not about getting someone to commit to marrying you. When you’re dating, you should enjoy yourself getting to know nice people, and one of them might turn out to be Mr or Ms Right - but it might take a while to find them. And you won’t raise your chances by convincing yourself that the next person will be the one you are going to marry. In any case, how will you be sure of knowing unless you have a few people to compare them to?

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