You have had a long list of recommended partners. You’ve exchanged a lot of messages and drunk a lot of cups of coffee on first dates. Now you think you might have found the right one … But are you absolutely sure?
Life is full of risks
Online dating is a bit like being in a supermarket. All you want is a tube of toothpaste, but there are dozens to choose from. You take a look at them, check the ingredients, compare prices and packaging and performance - and finally you don’t buy any of them. Maybe the pharmacy down the road has one that tastes nicer or works better, and which will grab your attention and make the decision for you. The more choice you have, the more difficult it can be to choose. It can become a matter of trial and error.
Letting someone into your life
The dilemmas of online dating are caused by your ready access to a wide selection of possible prospects - all people who are your match to some degree. Millions of singles now choose online dating, so the possibilities are enormous as you explore the people behind the profiles. If you get on well online and have a successful date, you still have to let the person into at least a part of your life, and that needs some time.
Looking for faults?
Are you afraid of making a decision, and are you always looking for a reason not to make a decision? … Too tall, too small, not in the right kind of job, hair too short, two years too old, not cool enough? … And, when you receive a contact request with a photo, you frequently don’t answer, since you think that the sender doesn’t look your type. Maybe you are afraid of the day your search comes to an end and you find happiness. In that case, just switch your computer off. You’re bound to meet the man or woman of your dreams on the street any day soon, aren’t you? If you don’t, you can always just sit at home, alone in front of the TV.
Learning to be happy
It can seem easier always to be on the lookout for another new beginning and to blame the imperfections of the other person for the fact that your last relationship didn’t work out. Everyone needs to learn to be happy, and to home in on happiness when it comes into view - even if it doesn’t look as you expected. Define realistic, concrete criteria for your future partner and stop thinking about finding ‘something better’, or you could find happiness slipping through your fingers.
Be prepared for surprises
There are no guarantees in love, and online dating is not some kind of online auction with a money-back guarantee. No matter how much search and selection you do, there is always the chance that you’ll be disappointed by the people you meet or by your own feelings. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies and ‘perfect’ love is something you only find in storybooks. Online dating can hold surprises for you; if you’re intrepid about it, you could be rewarded with a partner you might never otherwise have met.
Don’t let your expectations get the better of you - don’t set your heart on someone who likes the same animals or recording stars as you, or who has particular professional skills, or whose eyes are a certain colour. Instead, follow your instincts a little. Logic certainly has its place, but be prepared to challenge it from time to time - you could make some thrilling discoveries.