Researchers point out that while society (and women in particular) often expects men to show their feelings in the “feminine” way, we’re actually missing out on the real signals. Men are more activity oriented and there are very distinct ways by which they show they care. For example, men who are in love will involve their partner in their leisure activities, initiate sex (men generally view sex as an act of love more than women do) and generally do more things with their partners. I wrote a while back about how sharing chores was key to a good relationship. Interestingly enough, men’s idea of sharing the chores involves doing the chores together, rather than taking on the work on their own. It’s this sort of sharing – working together for a common goal, that seems to be what it’s about for guys.
Women, on the other hand, may actually initiate sex less when they’re in love, letting the man lead. They also, interestingly enough, show that they care by basically bitching less about things. But both men and women are as likely to express their feelings for each other by saying “I love you” and showing physical affection.
In a world full of Hollywood romance filled with grand gestures, over the top declarations of love and couples that communicate far too well to be real, breathing couples, it helps to learn to notice the subtle signals. Just because your partner doesn’t conform to some Hollywood fantasy in terms of expressing his of her feelings, doesn’t mean you don’t have something real going.
Written by Shimrit Elisar
