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From a date to a relationship

The three month mark

Relationships tend to progress in stages and you can virtually time these stages sometimes: the three month mark, the 6 month mark, etc.. Do you know when it’s time to be clear about your relationship intentions?

The three month mark

When you’ve just started dating someone, you don’t want to put too much pressure on things.

You’re still evaluating each other, figuring out if you’re a good match long term, learning about each other’s needs and characteristics, etc.. Coming on too strong too soon can be quite scary for the other person, especially if they themselves are a bit slower when it comes to relationships and opening up to people. But sooner or later, it’s going to be time to make things clearer.

Relationship stages
Relationships tend to progress in stages and you can virtually time these stages sometimes: the three month mark, the 6 month mark, etc..

For example, the delicate balance between not wanting to come on too strong and wanting to change from a casual or not yet 100% committed relationship to a serious one can often come around the three month mark.

This is when people tend to get a little twitchy. Fears crop up, insecurities and uncertainties rear their ugly heads. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s also the time when the Big Conversation about the future of the relationship is likely to happen.

It's time for the relationship to change or die
Maybe this is the amount of time people can allow themselves to have fun without thinking about consequences or the future too much.

After this, it’s time for the relationship to change or die. It’s important not to let things drift beyond this point without clarifying things. If things are going well, it could be tempting to just assume everything is going the way you want it, without bringing anything up, but communicating your expectations and your needs at this stage and being clear about what you want out of your relationship is crucial. Allow things to carry on without making sure you’re both singing from the same sheet can end in disaster. So while it’s good to let things develop naturally for a while and establish for yourself exactly what it is you want to get out of your relationship, at some point you’re going to have to share these feelings with your partner.

If you’ve been dating for about three months, you may well find that the perfect time is now.

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