Couples who’ve met on the Internet quite often live a considerable distance from each other, and many of them manage to sustain a long-distance relationship. But what are the potential pitfalls of an LDR - and how do you overcome them?
Solution: Get closer to each other
Phone each other every day, write emails, postcards and letters. Be ready to ‘bother’ each other with details of your everyday live … your job … your kids. Talk about things that matter to you, politics, films, food or whatever. Create little rituals that bring you together, say a call at breakfast time. You are a couple, not two single people who meet up every two weeks.
Problem: There are tensions between us when we see each other
There’s a big build-up to weekends together, but things tend not to go as smoothly as we would like.
Solution: don’t expect everything to be sweetness and light
Even the best relationships have their tense moments and love needs to be nurtured, with boundaries being set and compromises struck. If you only see each other at weekends, these processes get compressed into a small space. Learn to address any conflicts as soon as possible - ideally ahead of time on the phone. Resign yourself to the fact that there will be some weekends where there are tensions and don’t let it get to you. Don’t fall out with each other: Retain mutual respect and be ready to kiss and make up.
Problem: Sunday blues
Sunday afternoons are a bit of a downer - all you can think about is that your time together is coming to an end.
Solution: Create some separation rituals.
Go with your partner to the train, the airport or at least to the car. After he or she has gone, make yourself feel better with a cup of tea or by relaxing for half an hour. Think about the advantages of your long-distance relationship: you are both retaining your independence and all week you have the pleasure of looking forward to seeing each other.