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The first date

5 things women look at on the first date

No one likes to be judged, but on first dates we’re always judging others and being judged ourselves. Unfortunately, that is the nature of the beast, while both parties decide whether to carry on seeing each other. Both women and men look at various things during the date and use them as means of determining whether a guy is right for them. This posts sets out 5 things women look at when on a first date with a man.

5 things women look at on the first date

Disclaimer #1: most women will look at hundreds of little things, usually without even realising. What they look at and base their judgement on is likely to be as individual as they are. These 5 things, however, are very common.

Disclaimer #2: the purpose of this post is not to set out rules or standards you should try to match yourself to. We’re all different and what one woman may see as a deal breaker, another may find charming and attractive. While it’s true that it’s always safer to err on the side of what is scene as the norm, that is in no way an absolute rule. The purpose of this post is to make you think of how your personality and lifestyle are seen to reflect in simple things you may have not considered. This way, you can spare a thought and make sure they reflect you in the way you’d like to come across.


Any remotely discerning woman would glance at your choice of footwear and attempt to read it in much the same way as a fortune teller reads tea leaves. To a woman, the choice of shoes can tell whole volumes about a guy. Whether or not the conclusions reached are just, this may well influence her general impression of you. Use this to show your best side, or at least to cover up your worst. Avoid wearing any ugly, panic-bought work shoes or anything overly tatty, but do wear something comfortable and clean. If in doubt, go for shoes that are as plain and simple as possible.

You are what you eat

Choice of food is something that’s very telling about a person. While it’s true that it’s actually men who are more prone to judging women based on their choice of food, women too will notice if things are out of tune with what they’d consider fitting for a man. Being overly fussy with food, complaining about too many allergies or blatantly overeating can all cause potential problems at this sensitive and judgemental time. Of course, if the woman happens to share your allergies, fussiness or love of food, this may be a non-issue, but it’s best to tone things down as much as possible until you know you’re in the clear.

How much you drink

This is something women watch for early on to see if your vices are in tune. In the UK, heavy drinking is not as likely to put women off as in, say, America, but women would sometimes look for signs of dependency or the type of shyness that requires booze to oil the wheels of conversation. Whatever your style, err on the side of moderation.

Your focus

When you’re on a date with a woman, she expects you to only have eyes for her. She’ll be on the lookout for wandering eyes and signs that you’re not as into her as she thinks you ought to be. Keep your focus on her whenever possible or she’ll assume you’re not into her.

Your hands

After the eyes, the hands are probably the body part most visibly telling of a person’s lifestyle. Some women will consciously look at them, while others will do it without even realising and process the information subconsciously. While you can’t change your eyes, you can indeed take measures to ensure your hands represent you as you’d like to be represented. Usually, this means clean and trim, though different women tend to like different levels of softness. Erring on the side of rugged is probably a good idea if in doubt.

Shimrit Elisar Written by Shimrit Elisar
Parship GmbH

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