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The first date

The first date

Once you’ve made successful contact with someone online, the next major step is a first date. You can learn a lot about someone through emails and, in due course, on the phone, but it’s only face-to-face that you can really gauge their relationship potential. These days, more and more people are opting for an easygoing first date - maybe a coffee or a quick lunch, but the choice is yours. No matter what the context, you’ll want to make a good impression - and you might well feel a few nerves.

Here, Parship’s experts provide some advice on how best to handle a first date.

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There will always be a certain compromise. That’s something you should accept. And once you’re in a relationship, as you know, there will be a thousand more. But the right compromise to make when choosing a partner should come naturally. It should never feel forced and should never leave you feel hard done by. Here are five questions to ask yourself when deciding on whether or not to take a chance on someone.  more

A little trick for figuring out what to say on your first date

If your profile is the online dating equivalent of your CV, then your first date is the interview. I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve heard this one. But how often have you gone on a date and spend the whole time trying to be someone you’re not?  more

A first date with no preliminaries – men seem to like the idea

Maureen (37) received a suggestion for a date with no time to get to know each other beforehand and no clues about recognising each other. She didn’t think it was such a good idea and was curious to know what we thought.  more

5 things women look at on the first date

No one likes to be judged, but on first dates we’re always judging others and being judged ourselves. Unfortunately, that is the nature of the beast, while both parties decide whether to carry on seeing each other. Both women and men look at various things during the date and use them as means of determining whether a guy is right for them. This posts sets out 5 things women look at when on a first date with a man.  more

How to spruce up your look for a date

Congratulations if you have just managed to secure a date. This means that the person in interested in meeting you.  more

Yes, no or perhaps … How to deal with the dynamics of a date

There are 15 million single people in the UK, many of them looking for the love of their life. You’d think there really must be someone for everyone. But meeting new people can be hard work and it can take a number of dates before you meet someone who could be right for you. So how do you deal with a first date? Dr Victoria Lukats, Psychiatrist and Parship's dating expert gives advice.  more

When I meet women I just don't seem to be attracted to them. Is it my personality?

I found my test results both interesting and very accurate. I get on tremendously well with my suggested partners by e-mail and telephone but "face to face" seems to destroy all the previously perceived attraction that I had created.  more

The first date – an experience

The majority of Parship members fix their first meeting in a bar or café, but does the thought of a succession of coffees and teas fill you with panic? Then try something which is a bit more of an experience.  more

The first date

Never mind butterflies in the stomach … You’re on your date, sitting there with clammy hands and nothing to say. Whatever happened to your blinding wit? You feel like disappearing off to the loo and never coming back …  more

The art of smalltalk

Do first dates find you lost for words? Does your vocabulary shrink to prehistoric levels? If so, there is no shame in falling back on smalltalk: it can prove wonderfully useful.  more

The first date

What do you want to get out of a first date? Realistically, you can’t expect to know within an hour or two whether you have found ‘the one for you’, but you can find out whether you would like to take things to a second date.

There is no way of telling whether a first date will lead to a lifelong relationship, a warm friendship or simply ‘it was nice meeting you’. But every new encounter could hold possibilities, especially if you’ve been brought together by Parship’s compatibility matching. Whatever ultimately happens, you can get the best out of every date.

On a first date, the ideal is for the conversation to be a relaxed question-and-answer session. Feel free to start off with a few easygoing questions - nothing too probing. Most people are happy to talk a little about themselves. You should be ready to talk about yourself too - but if you tend to get very chatty when you’re a bit tense or excited, maybe try to tone things down a little. On the other hand, if you take a little while to warm up, make sure that your date can see you are actively listening and oiling the wheels of the conversation.

On a first date, it’s probably best not to spend too much time discussing previous relationships, or serious or highly personal issues such as your sex life, illness, marriage and whether you want children. If the two of you hit it off, that kind of conversation can wait till another time. If the first date goes well, and you feel that the two of you made some kind of connection, then you should think about a second date. It will give you the chance to get to know each other better, and it won’t commit you to anything more than another meeting.

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