Have you taken another look at the search criteria you set when you became a member of Parship? It could be worth adjusting them a little to raise the likelihood of finding someone who’s really right for you.
Once you’ve taken the test, you automatically receive a list of people whose personality profile is compatible with yours and who conform to your specified age-range, location and so on. You can feel free to alter your search criteria if you so wish – simply viewing a profile puts you under no obligation, and there are so many Parship members out there who could be right for you.
2. Keep an open mind
“Why should I extend my search to other parts of the country? I’ll just get people telling me that I’m too far away … Or I’ll end up falling in love with someone who lives hours away and we’ll get stuck in a stressful long-distance relationship.” It can be easy to start thinking (and worrying) along these lines, but it is pretty counter-productive to tangled yourself up in the possible negative implications of an action you haven’t even taken. OK, so it’s possible that someone you contact will think you live too far away, but someone else might think quite differently – and they could be the very person you’re looking for.
3. Search criteria are not an order form
It could so happen that you could set all your search criteria – age, height, smoker/non-smoker, children/no children, location – and end up finding your ideal man or woman pretty much round the corner. But, realistically, that ‘made-to-order’ person might just not be a member of Parship, or, if you ever meet them, the chemistry might not be there. Search criteria are essential to the online dating process, but you should beware of taking too much of a tick-box approach. It’s not as if you are ordering a sweater in precisely the colour, size and style that you have in your head.
4. Priorities and flexibility
You do need to think about what really matters to you. For instance, if you really can’t stand to be anywhere near a cigarette, you are going to have real problems with a chain-smoker, but you could be reducing your chances if you remain inflexible on criteria such as age, height and location. Does a year or two or a centimetre or two really make such a difference? And distance is less of a factor than it used to be in the past. By the way, in the ‘What my potential partner should know about me’ section of your profile, maybe give an indication of how mobile you are prepared to be.
5. How do things work in ‘real life’?
It can help to get away from your computer monitor and think about how you would get to know someone in the normal ‘offline’ course of things. We don’t walk around with our age stamped on our forehead, and if you genuinely click with somebody, how much does it bother you if he or she is a little bit shorter than your ideal – or maybe even enjoys the occasional cigarette?
6. Don’t be afraid of too much of a good thing
Once you’ve broadened your search criteria you might find yourself faced with dozens and dozens of profiles on your list, but don’t feel you have to examine every prospect in detail. It makes sense to prioritise the members with whom you share the highest compatibility scores – in other words the people whose personality, attitudes and aspirations seem to be best matched to yours. Take a look at their profiles, tag your favourites and send some contact requests. But don’t be in a rush to delete any profiles that don’t immediately appeal to you – your views might change and you don’t want to preclude any possibility of future contact.
7. Be open to something new
Many of us like to stick with what we know, but it is limiting to make too many assumptions based on someone’s age, for instance, or even whether they have children. Be ready to ask a few questions to find out more … How old are those children? If they’re already adults, then that changes the dynamic straight away. Approach your recommended partners with an open mind and you might surprise yourself – and open some new doors to the future.