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Single life

Who should get in touch after the first date

If the date was a success, questions like these arise: What now? Who gets in touch first?

Do you want to be a bit more adventurous?

The excitement of a first date is big. After weeks of writing, chatting and phone calls a bond has been created, and then it's time for a sequel in reality. What you might not realize is that the excitement after the first date can be even greater than before. If the date was a great success, the curiosity about the other person becomes bigger. Even though we now live in an advanced and emancipated world, many singles are still unsure about how to behave after the first date. This insecurity affects both women and men, given the fact that the traditional role models with which our parents and grandparents “fell in love” still seem to impact on our actions today.

So many women still remain passive and devote; they do not want to be "easy" or inadvertently seem "inviting" if they take the initiative to get in touch after a successful evening with someone. Some also cover up their shyness by taking shelter in familiar patterns and just wait for their date to contact them. And if he does not answer, then he has just not "earned" a chance.

Equally complex is the designed behavior of men, many of whom are still in line with their old unemancipated gender role. This leads some to believe that a woman who gets in touch after the first date is "uninteresting" or to a similarly comfortable behavior, in which assumed that after decades of patriarchy now the woman has the chance to conquer the man.

However, no matter which of the behaviors described above we analyze, they are all not relaxed. Of course, the process of dating and falling in love is no time for relaxation, as you may tell by the hurricane of feelings you face. Emancipation does not mean that you stick with the old “role” pattern out of principle or that now it is “the others” turn. Perhaps it is time to realize that emancipation is the freedom to act confidently – either for a man or a woman. Doesn’t matter if it is “proper” or "ambiguous", it should simply come from the heart.

So instead of sitting at home biting your nails in front of the phone or the computer and to ponder whether he liked the meeting or if she was interested, ask yourself the following: What kind of relationship do you want? Put emphasis on being on the same level, respect, self-determination and enough space to show your feelings openly? Or would you like the safety of old roles that are anything but contemporary, and that mean a step backwards not only socially but also when it comes to a partnership, in which there are more rules than a game to be played?

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