Before the first date with a potential partner, many are a nervous wreck.
For some it brings a kind of shy rigidity which means that they melt in fear, while others are too busy pondering: what should I wear? Where do we go? What should we talk about and what happens if I 'm not what the other person expects from me? In both this kind of anticipation can make you want to forget the date and simply cancel it.
Mental cinema, NC-17
The thoughts that take place before the big day should actually be banned, because they have a dangerous dynamic. Then it is envisioned what can go wrong, embarrassing mishaps and bad dialogues in detail only to come to the conclusion, even before the date that you do not really fit together. Knowing that this behavior is normal, does not really reassure very much. But you can try to write the script of your movie. Imagine only positive situations by playing funny or romantic scenes in your head and allow your mental cinema to only come up with a happy ending. When you cannot stop pondering at least you can ponder constructively.
Make known the unknown
It can also help to first speak on the phone with your date. The unknown will be a little less strange. Be calm and open and confess that you are nervous – you will see that it can work wonders to give you confidence. It would not be surprising to find that the other person is most likely going through the same. Why should it be any different?
Drink to loosen up?
For many, alcohol seems to be the easiest and most obvious solution to get the nerves under control. Slightly tipsy, and the world does not look quite as complicated and also one or two sentences come out by themselves. But beware; the limit between loosen and fun and embarrassment is quite thin. Also for some dates it might not look good to either immediately order alcohol or already smell like alcohol when you meet.
Practice makes perfect
A bit of black humor never hurts; if this date does not work out, there is still reason to smile. There is a positive side effect even if you did not find, which is you learn from each date. You will know better how it works, what is important to you and how you can keep a conversation going. And the nervousness will also tend to disappear. Although we still wish for you to be nervous rather than experienced.